Tiffany Mead was behind the wheel of her purple PT Cruiser when her estranged husband, Kris Ertmann, pulled out a knife, reached over and slit her throat. Her 2-year-old son, Noah, was sitting in the backseat.

Mead had met up with Ertmann to discuss child support for their two young sons, Noah and Wyatt. Though Mead tells PEOPLE that Ertmann had been controlling and abusive in the past, she didn’t realize he was capable of an act this desperately violent. “I had never seen that look in his eye,” she remembers. “I don’t think there’s even words to describe it — just emptiness.”

Celeste Sloman

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Ertmann’s determination to kill Mead is featured in an upcoming episode of Oxygen’s new true-crime seriesMurder for Hire, premiering April 7.

Mead held one hand over her neck to help staunch the bleeding as Ertmann just sat there, “watching her bleed,” she recalls.

Ertmann was sentenced to five years to life in prison, where he remains today. (Ertmann also tried to take a hit out on his ex-wife while he was behind bars.)

After her attempted murder, Mead was left alone to raise her sons and pick up the pieces. Fortunately, her will to live was strong — and today she aims to use what happened to her to help raise awareness of the dangers of domestic violence.

Kristopher Ertmann.Davis County Sheriff’s Office

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Still, the dramatic scar left behind on Mead’s neck bothers her, and she does her best not to look at it at all. “I know that I should see it as a battle scar, but it brings up so many memories that I try to avoid looking at it as much as possible,” she admits.

For more on Tiffany Mead’s harrowing tale of survival,subscribe now to PEOPLEor pick up this week’s issue, on newsstands Friday.

If you suspect domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go tothehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

Oxygen’sMurder for Hirepremieres Sunday, April 7 at 7 ET/6 CT.

source: people.com