To meliorate your hearing skill , act like a trampoline , not a sponge . That ’s one of the master insights theHarvard Business Reviewacquired recently after studying the habits of great attender .

While there ’s plenty ofadviceout there for becoming a better listener , HBR want to take a more methodical approach to define dependable listening acquisition . to do so , they analyzed information describing the habits of 3492 participants in a program designed to teach managers coaching job skills . After centre over the data , HBR name the top five pct of listeners and began to hit the books their habit , comparing them to participant who were grade as average listeners .

HBR came up with four chief guidelines for meliorate hearing skills base on the superscript listeners in their data set . First , honest listeners did n’t remain silent while mind . rather , they gently demand question , requesting additional information or clarification . Second , they build up the verbalizer ’s ego - esteem , making trusted they feel supported and safe while speaking . Third , they were cooperative , not combative , searching for vulgar solid ground alternatively of plow the conversation as a public debate . in the end , they made suggestions , providing feedback in a mode that was regard as tactful and civilised rather than pushful .

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While conventional Wisdom of Solomon state that good hearing requires acting like a sponge — soaking up what the other person is enounce and remembering that info accurately — HBR was surprised to find oneself that their great listeners were more like trampoline : They lease speakers bounce estimate off of them , providing feedback and new idea . They concluded that listening should n’t be a passive act . or else , near listeners take heed without interrupting , but can also identify the appropriate time to ask question or give feedback and boost .

“ We hope all will see that the high and best course of listening comes in play the same role for the other person that a trampoline plays for a child,”HBRexplains . “ It give energy , acceleration , height , and amplification . These are the trademark of great listening . ”