Nikki Bellais trying her best to move on from ex-fiancéJohn Cena.
Almost one year after theformerly engagedcoupleended their romancejust weeks before their wedding, Nikki, 35, returned to Napa, California, where she and pro wrestler and actor Cena, 41, planned to tie the knot.
“This is the first time I’ve been back in Napa since my big breakup and I just immediately get all those memories,” Nikki says in an E! Newssneak peakof Sunday’sTotal Bellasepisode.
Kevin Mazur/Fox/Getty
“But, a part of me is like okay Nicole, now you have to make new memories,” she shares.
“I definitely made Napa a lot about the ex, but I think because I have such a love for wine that it makes it feel okay,” she tells Brie.
Still, the return to Northern California is emotional for Nikki. “I think that’s why I was crying so much yesterday. I feel like it was the first time I just fully was starting my true grieving and healing process,” she says.
While Nikki has made progress in moving on from Cena, she knows she’ll experience a flood of emotions when her ex finds someone new.
“No matter what, the next time I see him with someone it’s going to kill me,” she says. “I still have a long way to go. But honestly, I’m ready for a new me. I need it. You know what I feel like I need to do? I need to start living as if I don’t care whether it’s my ex or anyone else watching me and afraid to hurt their feelings.”
Jamie McCarthy/WireImage
Overall, the reality star hopes to move on from Cena: “I just want to move forward.”
And in the time since, it appears that Nikki has opened herself up to the possibility of finding love again.
PEOPLE confirmed in January that Bella and her formerDancing with the StarspartnerArtem Chigvinstevwere casually dating.
“They’ve been spending time together for a long time, but it’s nothing serious right now,” said a source of the couple, who danced together on season 25 ofDWTSin 2017.
“They have a strong attraction to each other, but they’re just having fun. They’re both extremely busy with their own careers, so they spend time together when they can,” said the source.
Earlier this month, though, the pair took their relationship to the next level.
Total Bellasairs Sundays (9 p.m. ET) on E!
source: people.com
